Are sex and intimacy different things? Can you have one without the other? Or does one lead to another? It seems that there are many conflicting opinions on the roles of sex and intimacy within a relationship and out of one, too. It is difficult to really get to the bottom of this problem because no two people have exactly the same ideas on sex. In a traditional framework, sex would come with long-term commitment, or marriage, which would be associated with the couple having an intimate connection with each other and usually wishing to procreate. However, in an increasingly promiscuous society, the connection between sex and intimacy can be a tenuous one.

Feeling connected to another person through sex can be one of the most fulfilling and satisfying experiences that this weird, wonderful human existence has to offer. But sometimes, despite longing for more closeness in our lives, we find ourselves struggling to experience truly intimate sex. Whether it's due to stress or exhaustion or losing touch with ourselves and our partners, sometimes we need a little help finding our path back to the intimacy that can live at the heart of sex. Intimate sex is any sexual encounter involving a lot of intimacy between the partners involved.

In my NYC therapy practice, I often see patients—both individuals and couples —who confuse sex and intimacy. For some, especially young people and those less experienced with sex though not only , sex can come with intense feelings and can feel like intimacy. If we see it this way, we make assumptions that many of the tasks of creating intimacy developing trust , getting to know each other, feeling safe, exploring vulnerability and awkwardness, etc. In assuming this, critical parts of these steps can go unattended and one or both partners are less likely to feel close.